Ask yourself two questions: Am I happy with who I am? Am I happy with my life? If you answered YES to these questions then this post isn't for you. But congratulations on being happy with your life. If you answered NO to one or both of these questions then you will need to do a little bit of follow up work...
Whether you are a new mum, a first time mum or have children who are grown, you have had to sacrifice so much of yourself in order to bring these beautiful blessings in to the world.
You may, or may not have noticed, as you were blissfully busy taking care of your child that day by day you potentially lost touch with a piece of yourself:
Maybe you didn't stay in touch with friends and now don't have anyone to talk to,
maybe you couldn't find the time to maintain your hobbies and no longer have something that's just for you,
maybe you developed anxiety out of fear of something happening to your child,
Or perhaps you were the one that had to give up work and are now financially dependent on someone else.
Don't worry this happens to the majority of mums (it's a lot of change) what I want you to take from this post is the reassurance that it doesn't have to be this way and that you are more than "mum." Remember, you were your own person before you were mum with your own interests, hobbies and personality. You have every right to find that person again even if (unsurprisingly) she's on 'vacation' from changing dirty nappies, getting up in the night, doing housework. But she's still in there, waiting to come out again.
All you have to do is acknowledge that things are different now (beyond the obvious) grab a pen and paper and write down what do I want? Who do I want to be/ who was I? So for me for example some of my answers were I want to be confident, I want to be sociable, I want to have my own money. Then select the one that is most important to you at this time. Change is more likely to happen when you are focused on one thing at a time. Once you've decided on your goal the next step is to come up with a plan.
Again using myself as your guinea pig. I chose that I wanted to be sociable as I found that being on my own wasn't good for my mental health. This wasn't easy for me as I have always suffered from social anxiety you can click here to read my post about that (still a working-progress but I'm much better) then I formulated the beginning of my plan. I started to attend church which allowed me to give praise to God, whilst giving me the opportunity to meet new people. So that I didn't get overwhelmed, I challenged myself to talk to just one new person each week until I knew everyone that attended regularly (baby steps)
Because I had taken the time to formulate a starting plan I was able to take decisive action, slowly but surely I started to become more sociable going out with a couple of people from church, at least once a fortnight. Now even during the pandemic I'm able to still be social through phone calls and texts which I find very uplifting.
However, getting back to YOU the most important person at this moment, once you have an idea of what you want to achieve and you know how you can do it the final step is to put a time-frame on it. This prevents you from putting things off. It is important that with this step you are realistic, so as an example, say you have chosen that you wanted to earn money from home and you were going to do this by completing online surveys you wouldn't want to set an expectation of making £500 a month within two months you'd be better off stating that you wanted to earn £50 a month for the first 6 months. This is very achievable and therefore you are more likely to succeed. Then can write another goal if it is needed at that time. Then act on your new plan.
That's all of the advice I can offer you at the moment.
Have a fantastic day.
I hope to see you again soon.
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